I’m a licensed therapist in the Charleston and Mount Pleasant area who works with individuals of all ages and demographics. I want to share with you some tips for moving on from a friendship breakup. It doesn’t matter how old you are, when you break off ties with someone you had cared for, it hurts and it’s essential to take the time to acknowledge the sadness that comes with that loss. It’s not childish or dumb to feel this way. That friendship meant something to you and we need to acknowledge it.
My best tips for moving on from a friendship breakup
Treat it as a loss: Allow yourself time to grieve the friendship. Don’t just jump into another friendship. You cannot avoid these emotions and it will take time to fully grieve this loss.
Be prepared to be hit by waves of grief. Daily reminders of things you did with this friend or things you used to share with them. Replacing this friendship with another one will not make those feelings go away. It will only delay the grief or you’ll experience some countertransference where you end up taking out your feelings on the run person. It’s not fair to project feelings of sadness or anger onto someone else if it’s not them you’re upset with.
Consider removing any items in your home, car, work desk, etc., that remind you of them: You don’t need to throw them out. Place them in a box and put them somewhere not easily accessible or visible such as a closet or storage space.
Removing these visible triggers may help you feel less overwhelmed by the grieving process and feel like you have a little more control over the situation. Of course, you can’t get rid of everything but this may help make things a little more bareable.
Filter your photos: Remove any pictures that you may have of them on your phone or computer. Seeing these images may spark positive and negative memories and possibly trigger negative feelings. If possible, store them in a private folder or vault.
Just like with the removal of any items that remind you of them, this may help you feel less scared and more in control of what you find on your phone when sorting through it. These little actions add up and can help you get over the friendship more quickly by creating distance. If you are reminded of them too often, it’s harder to create the space you need to heal.
Practice some exposure therapy: When you are ready and at your own pace, try to visit some of the places/events you and your friend enjoyed attending. This will help you work through those feelings, and you will feel more in control when you visit those locations in the future with other friends.
Remove or mute them from your social media: Removing them from your social media friends list might be one of the last things you consider doing, but it’s highly suggested to at least mute their notifications from popping up on your news feed.
I would also try to avoid social media for a short time if you’re not ready to remove them as a social media friend. Seeing pictures of them with other friends, seemingly happy, may cause you to feel abandoned, sad, and angry. Protect your emotions, as you will be in a vulnerable state.
If you have any tips that you’d like to share, please write them in the comment section.
healing,mental health,self-care
