A Coaching Model by Stephane Weisbecker
Transition Coach, FRANCE
Stephane graduated from the Professional Program at ICA and is a Transition Coach based in France. Stephane values ICA’s international environment, with diverse teachers and students, which enhanced his experience and broadened his perspective in coaching.
I was born and raised in a country – France- where our education system and schools reward those who follow rules and instructions, leaving little room for error. Errors, in fact, are often frowned upon, making students afraid of failure. This has been well documented in research studies (PISA 2018 Results from the OECD Programme).
This same mindset is found later in the world of work and entrepreneurship. Failure is seen as something very negative in France, synonymous with defeat for many. Someone who fails is often considered to have not worked hard enough. Failure is directly associated with the person behind the project. As a result, it is experienced as a source of shame, and trust in that person tends to diminish. The space for a second chance is reduced, and failure becomes something to avoid if one wants to succeed. A fear of failure builds, and we strive to minimize risks in order to succeed.
This fear of failure has been a substantial barrier in my own personal development, from a business standpoint up to personal relationships until I realized I was missing in my life one of the most – if not the most important components: learning and growing.
In contact with friends, colleagues, or coaching clients, I have noticed this fear of failure seems to be widespread in today’s societies. For some, social and family pressures are the primary reason they are terrified of failing. For others, unrealistic expectations, fueled by the prism of social media, discourage them from trying, because deep down they know their efforts won’t produce the same results. For others, the cost of failure (time, confidence, energy, money, mental health, ego, reputation) feels too high to risk trying.
Principles of the FAIL Model
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.- Samuel Beckett
The acronym F.A.I.L., which stands for First Attempt In Learning, has been utilized by others, for example in the fields of education and innovation. Building upon this concept, I have developed a coaching model that incorporates the essence of this acronym and reflects my experiences and coaching techniques. This model is designed to help clients embrace failure as a natural and essential part of their growth journey.
The goal of the FAIL model is to help clients foster a healthier relationship with failure. Instead of seeing failure as a roadblock, clients are encouraged to view each failed attempt as a learning experience that brings them closer to success. By facing challenges, analyzing their actions, identifying lessons, and leveraging new strategies, clients can build resilience and confidence.
I have mostly experimented with the F.A.I.L. model in career transition coaching, But I assume this model is adaptable and could be used in various contexts where the fear of failure is the main driver for inaction. For example, it could be applied to most clients dealing with personal growth, professional challenges, or skill development.
FAIL Model Application in Coaching
The four stages of this model are:
F – Face the Fear
This stage focuses on helping clients who are afraid to try, encouraging them to understand and confront their fear of failure. The goal is to reframe failure as a learning opportunity and help the clients shift from fear of mistakes to excitement about the potential for growth.
Key objectives:
- Normalize fear of failure and discuss its impact on action.
- Reframe failure as part of the learning process.
Examples of Coaching Questions:
- What’s the worst that could happen if you try and fail?
- How might taking action, even if imperfect, benefit you?
- What have you learned from past experiences that didn’t go as planned?
Examples of Coaching Exercises:
- Encourage clients to write down examples of people they admire who have failed and bounced back stronger.
- “List three times when you thought something would go wrong, but it either worked out or you handled the situation.”
A – Act
The only way to get rid of the fear of doing something is to go out and do it. –Susan Jeffers
This stage supports clients in taking the first steps toward their goals. Whether small or large, action is the key to overcoming fear and building momentum. For those who have failed, this step reinforces the importance of trying again, with a focus on improvement and resilience.
Key objectives:
- Encourage small, manageable actions to reduce fear.
- Reinforce the value of effort and persistence.
Examples of Coaching Questions:
- What small step can you take today toward your goal?
- How can you prepare for setbacks or challenges along the way?
- How can you use what you’ve learned from the past to take action?
Examples of Coaching Exercises:
- Encourage clients to commit to a small, actionable step each day toward their goal.
- Encourage clients to start learning a new skill or activity, and enjoy the process of failing/trying in a fun environment.
I – Identify the Lessons
There is no failure. Only feedback.– Robert Allen
Many of us can be tempted to blame others for our own setbacks. When facing failure or disappointment, we can have the tendency to just give up and forget about it, as a defense mechanism. This kind of reaction reinforces our fears and prevents us from learning valuable lessons from our mistakes.
This step is about reflecting deeply on the experience and extracting valuable lessons. It’s not just about what went wrong but also about what worked, what was learned, and how these insights can be applied to future attempts.
Key objectives:
- Reflect on the client’s experience with failure.
- Identify strengths, skills, or insights gained through the attempt.
- Encourage resilience by reframing failure as a necessary step toward growth.
Examples of Coaching Questions:
- What did you learn from this failure that you didn’t know before?
- How did you handle the situation, and what would you do differently next time?
- What strengths did you discover in yourself through this process?
Examples of Coaching Exercises:
- Journaling: Encourage clients to keep a journal where they can reflect on what worked, what didn’t, and how they felt about their actions.
- Failure Sheet: After each failure or challenge, clients can fill out a sheet with questions like: “What went wrong?” and “What did I learn from this experience that I can use next time?”
L – Learn and try again
Failure is only the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.- Henry Ford
In this stage, clients apply the lessons from their failure to future actions. This stage focuses on building resilience, confidence, and a mindset of continuous improvement. The goal is for the clients to understand that failure is part of the journey and that each attempt brings them closer to success.
Key objectives:
- Empower the client to take action again, with new insights.
- Reinforce that success often follows multiple attempts.
- Help the client build a long-term vision of growth through trial and error.
Examples of Coaching Questions:
- How will you apply what you’ve learned to your next attempt?
- What has changed in how you view failure and success?
- How can you stay motivated and keep trying despite setbacks?
Examples of Coaching Exercises:
- Success Rehearsal: clients can visualize themselves succeeding in their next attempt. This can create a mental mindset that builds confidence and reduces anxiety about trying again.
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