Extreme traumas, such as those experienced from war, sexual assault, and natural or man-made disasters; often have lingering effects that reach far beyond those that are commonly understood. Many can functionally recover, having learned how to manage familiar situations, as long as they keep the stress level down and maintain sufficient control over their lives. But even those who appear to have regained their stability, who are functioning reasonably effectively in a job, at school, or in superficial relationships; when engaging in a novel romantic relationship, or experiencing an event that triggers a re-traumatization, may suddenly encounter a mental health crisis , putting them at risk of hurting themselves or others, or preventing them from being able to care for themselves or function effectively in the community.
If this happens, they may behave quite differently, but are generally unaware of this, and are defensively resistant to seeing it. Seeing this would, to their subconscious, represent weakness, such weakness would make them feel vulnerable to a threat, and vulnerability would, to their subconscious, put them at risk for re-traumatization. So they are usually defensive, attribute the changes to someone or something else (flipping), and either fight or run away if someone tries to show them what is happening (fight or flight).
When in the fight or flight response of Survival Mode, emotional vulnerability represents, to a trauma survivor, the potential for being hurt again. This is why survivors of extreme trauma are often unable to effectively engage in meaningful intimate partner relationships — even though they may truly want to and initially believe they can. This can be a tragic and lifelong effect of the trauma.
However, this author believes in the transformative power of love and understanding.
*Also, a professionally conducted Critical Incident Stress Management session within 24-72 hours after a traumatic event, along with recommended follow-up, can effectively prevent the development of PTSD and other trauma effects. A traumatic event can be defined as a shocking, scary, or dangerous situation that is beyond the range of normal human experiences.
Vulnerability
The unseen link between unresolved past traumas and later mental health concerns is called latent vulnerability; while emotional vulnerability refers to the state of being more exposed to the possibility of being harmed..
Although latent vulnerability is a matter of concern, it does not predispose anyone to a future of trauma-related struggles. As humans, we are hard-wired to expect care and protection, emotionally and physically, from those who love us. If this doesn’t happen, for example with a child and their parents, then this child, and their brain, will adapt to cope. They may be faced with an external world of danger and neglect, and also need to manage an internal world of anxiety and fear. Scientists have identified neurological changes in the threat, reward, and memory systems of these children. Brain adaptations that helped them survive in a neglectful or abusive home environment may no longer work in a safe and healthy situation, such as school or an extended family placement.
For example, if being overtly cute, happy, and gregarious brought safety and needed attention within the unsafe situation, and became a coping mechanism, then it might end up getting them in trouble at school because they are always talking and trying to be the center of attention. This could be confusing and challenging for them, because it is these very behaviors that helped them survive previously. Likewise, if they learned to withdraw and remain silent, then these adaptations could create problems at school or home.
Similarly, if a woman learned adaptive coping skills in an abusive relationship, like always apologizing, talking shit behind her partner’s back, acting cute and playful, using sex to control, or drinking excessively; and then entered a healthy relationship, her adaptations might no longer work, she might mis-interpret her partner and their interactions, and if she had unresolved trauma, she might trigger into a re-traumatization when the adaptations failed, creating anxiety and sending her into Survival Mode. And, since her adaptive coping mechanisms would likely make things worse in a healthy relationship, she might be drawn back into the clutches of abuse.
Any negative emotions, such as fear, anxiety, sadness, or hurt; including the ones that occur when adaptations fail; could trigger the latent potential. However, the brain adapts and responds equally to new positive experiences, and there is always hope for healing, growth, and change.
The Potential Effects of Emotional and Latent Vulnerability on the Intimate Partner Relationships of Those with Unresolved Trauma
Since emotional vulnerability is a natural part of the love and trust shared within an intimate partner relationship, since unresolved trauma can be more easily triggered into a re-traumatization when a survivor is emotionally vulnerable, and since the state of emotional vulnerability is more likely to result in the activation of latent vulnerability; an intimate partner relationship with someone who has unresolved trauma issues can be confusing, unstable, and heart-breaking. However, the love and trust of a relationship can also help heal the trauma, especially if both people understand what is happening and why. Spiritual teaching and relevant psychotherapy may also aid in the healing of such a trauma or relationship. Another important point is that not everyone who has experienced extreme trauma has trauma effects. Whether from Critical Incident Stress Management, or natural resilience, many escape post-trauma effects altogether.
So, regarding vulnerability and unresolved trauma, the latent vulnerability can be sitting idle for years, or even decades, and then rear its horrifying head again through an unexpected re-traumatization; and the emotional vulnerability of intimacy can also lead to risk of re-traumatization, as this vulnerability, through its broadened range of emotions, can increase the likelihood that the trauma survivor will be exposed to stress, fear, sadness, or hurt; shift into Survival Mode, and trigger into a re-traumatization. While it is important to understand these principles, it is equally important to realize that they do not determine anyone’s future. They may help you better understand yourself or someone you love, retrospectively make sense of a person or relationship, or generate hope for a better future.
Perspectives
There are many perspectives to view trauma from, and this author finds the spiritual approach most useful. So in addition to the practical understanding, I believe it is important to accept that vulnerability is an inescapable part of being alive and, without it, our lives would have no meaning. I also believe that our responses to trauma are normal, not a disorder. I describe them as a normal reaction to an abnormal situation. They can certainly result in health concerns, but these, too, are normal reactions to stressful or disruptive things. For a deeper look into an alternative window, please consider “When Vulnerability and Trauma Collide,” by mindful.org.
Survival Mode and the Unresolved Trauma Experience
As explained in “Stress No More,” our brain, on a physiological level, will shift us into Survival Mode (stress response) when we are faced with thoughts or situations that generate negative emotions, such as fear, guilt, sadness, hurt, or disappointment. When in Survival Mode, the range of thoughts, perceived possibilities, and courses of action is limited to those associated with fighting against or running away from a real or perceived threat. This is an instinctual survival mechanism hard-wired into all of us, to help us survive when confronted by a life-threatening situation. But how often, when we feel these negative emotions, are we actually faced with such a threat?
For trauma survivors, this process is complicated further by the interaction of such negative emotions with traumatic memories, trigger responses, and subconsciously-based levels of re-traumatization. For example, is the fear and suspicion currently being felt coming from a present situation, a heightened state of arousal brought on by the fight or flight response, or a past hurt? They can’t tell, but since it’s being experienced now, they go looking for a current cause. Who or what do you think they’ll typically find? If they’re in an intimate partner relationship, then they’ll often believe their partner is the cause of their negative emotions — because the partner is present/available and often the greatest source of emotional vulnerability. If they don’t have an intimate partner, then they might perceive their kids, close family members, or friends as the source (usually the people they feel most vulnerable to/if those people are not completely agreeing with their position about what has happened). They may also attribute it to organized systems (e.g. postal service, politics, healthcare, etc.), nationalistic or cultural patterns (e.g. discrimination, unequal opportunity, racism, etc.), or random occurrences (e.g. other drivers, unfairness in a grocery store purchase, the way someone looked at them, etc.). And, for trauma survivors, there are often levels of Survival Mode responses, ranging from mild to profound, which can parallel the degree to which they are feeling vulnerable.
For example, in Survival Mode-Mild, they might be hyper-vigilant, less emotionally available, more focused on the practical, and less openly expressive, and then return to their usual state in a few days or weeks — after having a number of safe and comfortable experiences again. By contrast, in Survival Mode-Profound, they might perceive that their life or livelihood is under threat, become completely unable to cope or function, and experience a mental health crisis. For someone who has not experienced a severe trauma, Survival Mode will turn on when there is a perceived threat, and then turn off when the brain believes the threat is gone. For most trauma survivors, since Survival Mode is activated by traumatic memories, trigger responses, and subconsciously-based levels of re-traumatization, none of which are coming from their current situation; and since Survival Mode responses, for trauma survivors, are usually stronger and last longer; it is much harder for the brain to determine when to release them from Survival Mode. So for many trauma survivors, Survival Mode can be turned on, but may never turn off completely, or it may take days or weeks to turn off, when it might be a matter of minutes for a non-trauma survivor or for a survivor who has resolved the original trauma effect.
For example, if a woman is walking through a dark Macy’s parking lot to her car, hears footsteps behind her, and then the footsteps start speeding up; she will likely become more alert, start walking faster, put her hand on her keys and pepper spray; and then jump in her car and drive away. If a woman who had been raped from behind had the same experience, she might start screaming, frantically run to her car, race to safety, breathe through the hyper-ventilation, and feel panic and terror. The first woman might breathe a sigh of relief, and immediately return to her pre-alert condition, while the rape survivor might be experiencing a re-traumatization, might get worse before she got better, and it might take her days or weeks before she felt completely safe and relaxed again (after having numerous safe experiences to counter-balance the fear of further re-traumatization). This is an example of a mild/moderate level of Survival Mode response for someone with unresolved trauma effects..
If a man woke up to a loud crashing sound, he would likely become hyper-vigilant, grab a flashlight and weapon, search for the source of the disturbance, and return to his pre-alert state when he realized that part of the ceiling had collapsed beneath the wind and rain. If another man, who had been awakened to bombs exploding his apartment building 2 years prior, had the same experience, he would likely be in shock, would appear to handle the situation in a practical manner, but would likely be experiencing some form of re-traumatization that would more noticeably manifest in 1-3 days, after the shock wore off. The first man would return to his pre-alert state within minutes after confirming the source of the disruption. For the war survivor, the re-traumatization would gradually become worse over the next 1-3 days, as the shock of the experience was wearing off. After the shock wore off, he might become angry, aggressive, defensive, irrational, and perceive those close to him as attempting to harm him. His normal coping mechanisms might not work anymore, he might be unable to function or care for himself, and he might experience a mental health crisis. It is difficult to predict how long it would take him to recover from such a re-traumatization. This is an example of a severe/profound level of Survival Mode response for someone with unresolved trauma effects.
However, I believe that people can learn how to recognize the state they’re in, learn to shift from Survival to Safe to Spiritual modes, and learn how to keep their vibration well above fear and other negative emotions.
Context
As someone who has experienced numerous traumas and clinically died twice, who has also had the honor of supporting hundreds through a process of healing from trauma; and as someone who has provided Critical Incident Stress Management services for both military and non-military personnel over more than 25 years; I have noticed a few things. For me, the unconditional love and support of my parents, dealing with the traumas immediately after they occurred, raising my vibration and keeping it high, maintaining a conscious spiritual connection, remaining open to love, expressing spirituality through writing and music, always coming back no matter how hard something was, and understanding that the human experience is simply an applied course in the curriculum for the soul; helped me heal. This is me. These things may not work for anyone else. For others, there appear to be some general patterns of reactions and behavior (e.g. the fight-or-flight response of Survival Mode), and some practical things they have in common (e.g. need for control, space, and consistency); but, since people are so unique and different, I do not believe there is any one approach that works for everyone. I believe we need to connect with them, create a space of safety, accept them in whatever state they are in, educate, apply relevant techniques that are consistent with their beliefs and values, test for resilience at different levels of stress/challenge at different points in time, help them prepare for possible re-traumatization, teach them how to raise their vibration and consciously connect in spirit, and do our best to avoid reacting to their likely instability or unexpected behavior.
Summary
In this treatise we have discussed how unresolved trauma effects for survivors of extreme trauma can reach further than is commonly understood, how emotional vulnerability can increase the likelihood of re-traumatization, how Survival Mode responses can be complicated by emotional vulnerability for those with unresolved trauma issues, how latent vulnerability and emotional vulnerability can interact to cause a re-traumatization, and how the vulnerability of intimacy can lead to re-traumatization. We have also touched on various perspectives from which to understand trauma, contrasting philosophies, and the fact that helping people heal from trauma is a highly individualized, person-specific process.
In future posts I will discuss “The Cycle of Re-traumatization,” “Practical Things that Help Trauma Survivors,” and “How to Reclaim Your Life After Trauma Derailed It.”
Photo Credit: iStock
